Layabout

Sunday, December 2, 2012

Performance Anxiety and After

She's been through a lot these past few months

But she puts her bright face on again for tonight.

The show must go on, she says to herself

The charades will run long.

So she paints on her mask

And draws brows which are military precise

And earrings which glitter bright

And the hairspray sets her forward but

She pauses before she bravely puts on her red lips...

She's conquered the night yet again...

But now...bone weary and hurting deep

She knows the cracks are visible here and there...

And all she wants is some sleep.

She tries to hide her broken frame

And move away before their curious eyes could creep

Into her deepest thoughts

Some catch a glimpse of the shattered face

And murmur "that's cannot be her"
And refuse to acknowledge...

Some sleep, she yearns, as soon as I close my eyes...

Some sleep.

Monday, October 15, 2012

Ridiculous Things in Life

Why was it easier to communicate with and even congratulate "her", rather than think of "him" and how much it still hurts...

Life is funny like that.

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Maria Taylor Song Beneath The Song

Cryptic words meander
Now there is a song beneath the song
One day you'll learn
You'll soon discern its true meaning

An interesting detachment
A listless poem of love sincere
Desire, despair
Overlapping melodies

And it's not a love, it's not a love
It's not a love, it's not a love song
It's not a love, it's not a love, it's not a love song
It's not a love, it's not a love, it's not a love song

Oh now the roots are reminiscing
Recurring dreams of minor chords
Metred time
Muted chimes find the beat

And in the pulse there lies conviction
A steady push and pull routine
The cymbals swell
High notes flail into reach

And it's not a love, it's not a love
It's not a love, it's not a love song
It's not a love, it's not a love, it's not a love song
It's not a love, it's not a love, it's not a love song

-*Song Beneath The Song* by Maria Taylor

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_VREuKwF8cc

people rant

so, sometimes people are not what you think they are...

they lie, they cheat.

they steal.

they sit on high moral horses even when they have no business doing that...

they hurt and they are mean.

they will do stuff to get ahead - ruthlessly.

they are without any scruples.

big deal! they are people - that's what they (mostly) do!

deal with it.

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Monday, July 2, 2012

Now (or never!)

Tired of putting away things for "later" - when is later anyway?

Why do we believe in putting pain before pleasure? Why do we think that having fun is wrong?

Why not NOW? What's wrong with NOW?

Now is a great time to be.

For instance, I want a break NOW! I just want to go somewhere really pretty, park myself on a bench and just drink in all the beauty... NOW!

Oh wait... now I have work...

Thursday, May 31, 2012

broken

How can I even try

I can never win

Hearing them, seeing them

In the state I'm in

http://thoughtcatalog.com/2012/when-you-have-a-broken-heart/

"The revelation disenfranchises you, numbs you, you're defeated. Everything you hoped and dreamed for is dashed, but worse, all the laughs... and him looking into your eyes was just a fat lie, a big joke, and you can't help but feel an enveloping sense of hopelessness. You want to believe that everything happens for a reason, but you get to thinking that everything happens because you're useless."

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Memories

"The more you love a memory the stronger and stranger it becomes."

Vladimir Nabokov

Monday, May 7, 2012

days go by

… and I hear nothing from you

are you okay?

I am missing you…

GWS and God Bless

Monday, April 23, 2012

Explore. Dream. Discover.

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed
by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do.
So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor.
Catch the trade winds in your sails.
Explore. Dream. Discover.
- Mark Twain

Monday, April 16, 2012

Thanks for the mail

I am so glad you took the time to reply.

Means a lot to me on a dreary Monday.