It’s the small things you miss when you’re no longer in a relationship. It’s not so much the big boyfriend or girlfriend issue, but also the little things which make a relationship special. Of course this is not just true of a romantic relationship but any association.
A touch, a smile, a word, a glance… that’s what special moments are built of…
Somehow she retained very distinct memories of certain instances and remembering those made them come alive in a very vivid manner. It was as if fireworks suddenly went on all around her - all bright lights and buzzing noises, strong scents and intense feelings which came rushing in... as if she had swum into a pool of golden memories…
The other day, she was in a cramped auto with a couple. It was rather windy, as is the case if you ride an auto in the evenings in Salt Lake, usually… She loved the way the guy put his arm around his girl; all protective and possessive at the same time. While normally she sneered at PDA, sometimes it was just plain sweet. And bitter. And then of course, she looked the other way and pretended not to see anything.
She was often bothered with the distinct smell of a certain brand of cigarettes that made her remember with aching detail how he would stop, mid-conversation, to light one. And the taste of his mouth after the smoke.
Or a certain place would make her recall how they had rushed into a derelict doorway, out of the rain and kissed there. Or how they had held hands at a movie. And across a table. And on the ride back home.
And then the other evening, when she was riding back home with friends of hers… he was in the front seat and she was at the back. And she loved how her friend suddenly touched her husband’s arm resting on the back of the seat. Or when his hand gently covered hers.
She nearly sighed aloud. In a flash, she went back years to a cold evening. As a nervous girl on her way to visit the boy’s family, clutched the auto rail tightly. And the boy, who out of courtesy to various senior citizens had chosen to sit up front with the driver, reached out and covered her cold hand with his warm one.