Wednesday, February 25, 2015

What is perfect? Nothing.

No such thing as perfect happiness. At least for people like me. Like every rose has its thorns, my happiness is impaled and shredded by expectations and resulting frustrations...
Why can't I just plaster a stupid grin on my face and wash out any semblance of doubt forming on my mind with lye and a hard brush?
Why can't I just live with what I am dished out?
Who am I? Of all the fat-assed people on planet earth. To even expect ANYTHING of ANYONE?
No wonder I am set up for failure from the start.
I am supposed to let things be.
Let the tea steep and seep out its gorgeous flavours in the tepid water. Woe betide anyone who dares turn up the flame and bring forth a rolling boil!
Let the flower gently unfurl and bring forth its beauty.
Let the egg hatch in its own time.
I can't go nitpicking. On everything. And with a sharp jab, put things in place.
No!
I have to let it lie.
And fester?
I have to let things putrefy till they come to their natural bloom or spoil eventually...
Hmph!
Hate how things are.

Sunday, February 15, 2015

Today

The flowers that came from you today
And the chocolates
And most importantly that card which said you would love me forever

Sunday, December 21, 2014

Trying to

Trying not to care anymore
At least not that much and not that openly

I am okay now if you don't text
Or call
Or mail
Usually...

I still end up crying at times
But I am trying hard not to let it matter

I know I can do it
I just need to keep on trying
Really hard

Till it doesn't matter anymore.

word...



Hurt...

Just thinking of how a pearl is formed...
When an oyster is injured, or when a foreign body enters its mantle, it secretes nacre and gradually, layer by layer, grows into a beautiful shiny pearl...
So in essence, the oyster transforms its hurt or pain into a thing of beauty...

And then I think of all the times when I hurt - perhaps because of you,
Or even in spite of you
And I feel that I have grown yet another layer to shield my heart
And perhaps one day it will be like a giant shining pearl
But all dead inside...



Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Lost...

Suddenly everything you do goes wrong
Everything you touch, crumbles and falls
What you are left with is the touch from last night
And memories from the streets you wandered together

Is this what the end's going to be like?
Is this where it all stops?

Saturday, September 13, 2014

Happiness

We are never as significant as we imagine ourselves to be. Nor are we as insignificant.
We are terribly average human beings running behind unattainable dreams and a chance at happiness.
We attribute a lot of importance to that brief fleeting mirage-like idea of happiness.
But happiness stems from ignorance. Mostly...
The ignorance of where you stand in life. Or where you are not welcome. Or where you are not really needed... just considered as a freak show for temporary amusement...
Not being aware of reality is blissful. It's easier deluding yourself, telling yourself you are happy because of something. Because of someone.
Better to stay real. And perhaps even stay unhappy. At least there are no expectations. No aspirations.
The solution lies in extricating oneself as soon as possible from all delusions. Of waking up before nightmares begin.